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2014, The Year in Which I Win the Lottery (and write some)

Friggeyja Wood Cover

2014 will be the year that I FINALLY win the NY State Lottery! Out of all the years I’ve been playing (0), I feel that the odds are really in my favor this year, as if you take the number of books that I’ve published (0) and multiply that by the number of dollars that I’ve made from writing in 2013 (0) and then subtract the amount of tax that I’ve paid over my whole life (a lot, but let’s call it 0), if you do ALL that math (you did it, right?) and then realize that the solution is EQUAL TO THE NUMBER OF TIMES I SURVIVED AN AIRPLANE CRASH, it’s obvious that this is the year. It’s in the stars. I will win the Lottery. Without even playing.

I hope it’s more than $5, ’cause that would be nice.

Besides the Lottery, there are some other things that I’ve got going for me this year:

IN THE DOCKET

1. Figure out if it’s “on” or “in” the docket. I feel like as a kid I learned that a “docket” is a place where court cases go, like a wire bin or something that has to be cleared out by the end of the day. But “in the docket” sounds unusual to me, and “on the docket” sounds better. A Google Fight search shows “in the docket” leading by a few hundred thousand hits, but a quality SEO team could fix that easily enough.

2. The Friggeyja Wood. This is the current novel that I’m writing. It’s YA fantasy about a village that lives in close proximity to a magical forest. Illicit love, talking weapons, stupid kids doing stupid things. It’s really great. January and February I will finish the initial draft, then probably take about 2 months + to do some editing.

3. Tuareg Shivs. This is a post apocalyptic YA Sci-Fi that I’ve been thinking about for a long time. Desert dwellers who get enslaved to work on the Solar Arrays that provide energy for the planet. This is a tale of slavery and rebellion on desert ships.

4. Short Stories Galore. I’ve got about 3 or 4 that I plan on working on and submitting to various online contests and repositories.

5. WTF. Write the Fantasy writing group, organized by Harper Collins. These lovely people will be the first to read all my work.

6. Pretend to have”Secret” Project. Hey y’all, forgot to tell you I have a “Secret Project” that I can’t tell you about! It has to do with writing, but may or may not actually be that I need to change a flat tire on my bike! But don’t ask me about it, it’s Secret!

NOT IN THE DOCKET

1. NOT winning the NY State lottery. I PUT IT IN WRITING, IT MUST NOW COME TRUE.

2. Fixing my flat tire. If I do that, then I’d have to ride my bike and I wouldn’t have an excuse NOT to.

3. Making Zucchini-laced pancakes. As a kid I thought this was sneaky. As an adult, I can’t stop sneaking it into pancakes for my kids. I. WILL. STOP.

WORK RELATED STUFF

1. Austin, Texas. I really liked this place when I spent 3 weeks there just over a year ago. I’d like to make it back, this time in a different capacity, as the instructor and not the student.

2. Go Home on Time. I mean, who wants to spend more time there than they need? “On Time” means that I’ll need to start prepping to go home at least 10 minutes early.

3. Ride my bike to work. Ya know, for health reasons and stuff. Too bad fixing that flat isn’t in the docket.

That’s it! I’m not doing anything else in 2014. If it’s not on this list, I’m not doing it. Don’t tell my wife.

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